7 Ways You Know You’re An Ivy League Athlete


1. You wear sweats to every class, and when I mean every class, every single class.

  • The awkward looks you get from the fifteen other kids in your upperclassmen sociology course who are all judging you for wearing the same sweat suit four days straight.

2. It is a constant struggle to stay awake.

  • Did you say 5 pm class? That’s so late I had morning workout at 5am this morning, I need a nap.

3. You admire how much free time the other students have.

Oh you have a 4.0 GPA? Try balancing a full workload with 30 hours per week spent at the athletic complex?
4. You may not party often, but when you do it is chaos.

  • Oh, well there goes Johnny again, the starting right tackle for the football team. Why is he taking all of his clothes off as he runs around bashing exit signs?

5. The guilt you have on Sunday for ruining all the workouts during the week.

  • Wow, how many calories are in a Long Island Iced Tea? I ate a whole cheesesteak last night? Damn, I’m going to pay for that tomorrow morning.

6. Walking to class in season you say? More like slow torture while climbing the Himalayas!

  • That motorized scooter for that old woman in the commercial sounds good right about now!

7. Ultimately, the feeling you get to say you were a part of something special.

  • You were a part of a brother or sister hood which cannot be broken as it was forged through competitive fire, and you can know you persevered well balancing the most challenging workload in the country.


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